Testimony

One or two years ago, I came across a poll in the Bloggernacle with the question, "If you were not Mormon, what would you be?"

There is a slight flaw in the way the question is asked, though. If I had never been a member, I would probably choose some traditional Christian religion- I'm not sure whether I would go Catholic, Orthodox, or Protestant. First choice would likely be whatever I was raised in, of course. But if I was raised without a religion, how am I to know what would be most attractive to me? After all, the church has been in the center of my life so far. Raised with a different center, who can say what I'd be?

But if I were asked what I would become after leaving the church, I probably would have answered atheist. My thinking at the time was that if I left the church, it would probably be because I discovered some sort of false doctrine. And if one piece turned out to be false, then why should I believe anything I've been told? Especially since the pieces all fit together.

Now, I'm not so sure that is true. I've been reflecting on my testimony, and I realized that while I have on occasion questioned what would happen if we were wrong about the Book of Mormon or the prophets, I have never questioned what if God did not exist. No matter how hard the trial, I never doubted that He is there and He loves me and He has a plan and through Him, things will work out. The logical side of my brain says that just because I've never had a flicker of doubt before does not mean that it will never come. But I really can't imagine doubting anything I know with such certainty to my center. So atheism no longer looks likely for a discontented me.

I used to think that my testimony started when I was eleven years old. I had finished reading through the Book of Mormon for the first time, and so I knelt down and prayed about it, as I had been told to do. And I got an answer, as I knew I would.

Well, I recently realized that the fact I knew that I would receive an answer says that my testimony was already there. But it was most definitely strengthened that day.