Telephone

I have been scared to make telephone calls for a very long time. I'm not sure why- it wasn't a problem when I was really young. I called to get the homework assignment or to ask Daniel if he could come play with no trouble at all.

But by the time I was a teenager, I had a problem. If I had to make phone calls for any reason whatsoever, I practically needed someone there to hold my hand. It got better, so that in my late teen years I could call a friend to chat just with a couple opening lines and then go ahead and chat. But even in the past year, I could spend anywhere from a couple hours to a couple weeks just working up the guts to make a simple telephone call.

And the thing is, I actually sort of like talking on the phone. Well, better than texting, anyway. Because it takes so much longer to type it all out, and you can't express emotions as well, and you only have 160 characters. But if I have something to say, it usually takes a lot more than that. Yet I am more likely to text than call, because mentally and emotionally, it is easier for me.

There are exceptions. Once I've had several successful experiences with calling the same person, it's fine. So if I want to talk to Mom, I can call her. No problem.

But lately, I've called at least 3 or 4 people for the first time with no hesitation. I'm not sure why this came so suddenly, but I think I may be getting over this weird phone fear.

Now, if I can just get over my automatic reaction of hanging up when I hear an answering machine or voice mail, I'll be set. But that one may take a while. It has been there since my first phone call.

Old Institute Thoughts

Yesterday in institute, I was reminded of a couple thoughts expressed in previous institute classes that I have taken.

1. Fall 2006- The Savior's Enabling Power. It focused on the atonement and genealogy. And, yes, the way the class was taught the combination worked perfectly. And the thought was something along the lines that even though we can use the atonement to repent of our mistakes, we can go further if we take it into our lives now, since we can keep going forward from where we are now instead of spending time falling backward, then using the time and energy to catch up to where we were and then moving forward again. A quote that I have since come across says, "Men do not suddenly become righteous any more than a tiny acorn suddenly becomes an oak. Advancement to perfection can nevertheless be rapid if one resolutely strides toward the goal." (Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness)

2. Fall 2008- Doctrines of the Gospel. I can't find the quote used in class to illustrate this point, but the idea was brought forth that Christ is both our judge and defense attorney. And isn't it comforting to think that the judge is personally invested in us winning our case?

Something About Human Relationships

Sometimes having to tell somebody what you want them to do cheapens the effect when they actually do it. I was thinking about this, and trying to work out how to explain why it is, when I remembered that it is not just a human thing:

For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.

Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; (Doctrine and Covenants 58:26-27)

But we are given commandments- told certain things that we should be doing. And we should remember that for human relationships. Yes, it's nice when people do considerate things for you on their own. But you should also be willing to tell what you want sometimes.