Dating

I have no desire to date.

I know I should date. At least, that's what we've been told many times. Go look for an eternal companion. And do that by dating regularly. Don't just hang out. Make the boys take you on dates. Stop feeding them and being available to them for casual hanging out. And so on.

But really, I would much rather just hang out. It's more fun- at least, in my experience. Of course, this may be because of the high proportion of blind dates I've been on. When I was on those blind dates, I usually managed to have a good time. But it would have been just as fun, or maybe more fun, without him. Of course, when I was with a guy I knew and wanted to be with, who wanted to be with me, I did have a good time.

But in general, hanging out is more enjoyable for me. You get to know each other doing different activities and see each other interacting with other people. And dating piles on more expectation, which leads to more stress.

And with dating, I just don't see the point in going out just to go out. I used to like the idea of going on a date just for fun, but somehow, that is no longer appealing to me. I can have just as much or more fun with a large group of friends, and I can be gratified enough to know that they want to spend time with me.

I recently learned that there are girls around here, including at least one of my friends, who don't necessarily like the boys who are their boyfriends. They just go along with it. And I really don't understand that. It seems unfair to both of you. And I can't understand why they would want to be cuddling and kissing with someone they don't have strong feelings for. The very thought is repugnant to me. For me, the physical and the emotional and the relational are all very much connected.

But back to my original topic. If some boy asked me on a date, I would probably accept. After all, I am supposed to be dating. And I would go through all the motions of figuring out what to wear and how to do my hair and makeup and so on. But I would not be at all excited. And I would try to give him a chance, but I don't know how successful I would be. And with me going in with a poor attitude, chances are good that neither of us would have a great time, so nothing would come of it. And I could have spent that time in some other manner. Maybe productive, maybe not. But even just wandering around on the catwalks for a couple hours sounds more appealing. And it has been that way for several months now.