Re-Framing

They're at it again. The Valentine haters, I mean. I'm not surprised; they make their fuss every year. I've written a little about my feelings about Valentine's Day before, here and here, and I thought I didn't have anything more to say. But it turns out I was wrong.

I recently read  an article online that said, "Valentine's Day is a warm, happy, romantic, charming day for nearly everyone. Everyone except people who are divorced, widowed, unhappily married, never married, fighting with their significant other, working overtime, struggling with morning sickness, in the hospital, in Afghanistan, on a business trip or can't afford a present. In other words, everyone except nearly everyone."

This wasn't really a Valentine's Day bash. It's more about handling loss. You can read it here if you want. But I didn't care much for her opening.

Sure, Valentine's Day is legitimately hard for a lot of people. I'm thinking mainly of those who are missing their loved one - the same people who have a legitimately hard time at any other holiday. But you don't hear so much about "Christmas/Easter/Thanksgiving is a happy day for everyone except nearly everyone."

The summer of 1999 I got a bit depressed at my grandpa's annual 24th of July party. It just wasn't the same as previous years, somehow. Well, my aunt talked to me then about how when you get older, a lot of holidays change, and you need to find a meaning and a way of looking at them that works for you. And that's the way it goes. Santa and presents lose their magic? Re-frame how you look at Christmas. Think of the joy of giving, think of baby Jesus.

Well, I think some people really should re-frame how they look at Valentine's Day. It doesn't have to be about the romance. It definitely doesn't have to be about gifts and money. What works for me is to see it as a reminder of all the people I love - especially my friends. Maybe not everybody can see it exactly that way. But the holiday is going nowhere. And I think being happy will come easier if they find some new meaning than if they continue seeing it as a couple's day.