Telephone

I have been scared to make telephone calls for a very long time. I'm not sure why- it wasn't a problem when I was really young. I called to get the homework assignment or to ask Daniel if he could come play with no trouble at all.

But by the time I was a teenager, I had a problem. If I had to make phone calls for any reason whatsoever, I practically needed someone there to hold my hand. It got better, so that in my late teen years I could call a friend to chat just with a couple opening lines and then go ahead and chat. But even in the past year, I could spend anywhere from a couple hours to a couple weeks just working up the guts to make a simple telephone call.

And the thing is, I actually sort of like talking on the phone. Well, better than texting, anyway. Because it takes so much longer to type it all out, and you can't express emotions as well, and you only have 160 characters. But if I have something to say, it usually takes a lot more than that. Yet I am more likely to text than call, because mentally and emotionally, it is easier for me.

There are exceptions. Once I've had several successful experiences with calling the same person, it's fine. So if I want to talk to Mom, I can call her. No problem.

But lately, I've called at least 3 or 4 people for the first time with no hesitation. I'm not sure why this came so suddenly, but I think I may be getting over this weird phone fear.

Now, if I can just get over my automatic reaction of hanging up when I hear an answering machine or voice mail, I'll be set. But that one may take a while. It has been there since my first phone call.