Eternal Evolution

I've read a lot of books explaining why evolution has brought humans to be the way we are, both behaviorally and anatomically. Why young men take crazy risks and why we have chins. And there are some interesting theories out there. But while I find it interesting to read about evolutionary benefits to the shape and position of our nose, or why our brow ridge got smaller, I always figured that however we got this way, we look the way we do because that is how we are eternally- the whole "Let us create man in our image" thing.

But the other day I started wondering what made people in this form in the eternal realm. As I understand it, we were created by our Father, which places some sort of timeline as to who was created first. So, have people evolved at all, or was the first in form like we are? Or was there even a first? It doesn't make sense for there not to have been, but maybe that's a limitation of my mortal mind.

He Sent His Son

Music

How could the Father tell the world
of love and tenderness?
He sent his Son, a newborn babe, with peace and holiness.
How could the Father show the world
the pathway we should go?
He sent his son to walk with men on earth,
that we may know.
How could the Father tell the world of sacrifice, of death?
He sent his Son to die for us and rise with living breath.
What does the Father ask of us?
What do the scriptures say?
Have faith, have hope, live like his Son,
help others on their way.
What does He ask?
Live like his Son.

Mabel Jones Gabbot

This is one of my favorite primary songs. And when I'm singing primary songs to myself, this one usually comes up. It is a pretty great summary of the basic things we should know about Christ's life. And although it can be good to get a bit deeper and deal with complicated issues, you need to return to the basic, simple stuff, too.

A Pound of Virtues

When I was in junior high, I took a class on infant development or some such thing. One day in this class, we had to watch a video. I don't remember what the main focus of the movie was, but I do remember one thing from it.

It said that every child is born with a pound of virtues. Some are especially beautiful, some are good at numbers, and some have great empathy. But everybody has exactly one pound. I came away from that movie lesson thinking about how exactly you go about measuring the various virtues and wanting to make some sort of game out of it. A create your baby, assign the virtues sort of thing. Which, now that I think of it, sounds sort of like assigning attributes in an RPG.

My major vice is romance novels. I'm a bit embarrassed mentioning it here, but it provides the context for my next observation.

In a few novels I've read, the main characters will see their potential love interest and be immediately ridiculously attracted to him/her. And then, because the other person is so incredibly attractive, they assume that they have no other redeeming qualities. That they must be self-centered and self-serving, and have no desire for anything more than a series of flings. Of course, by the end of the novel, each party realizes that the other person is highly intelligent, altruistic, and shares all their beliefs and values.

I've heard anecdotes about people in real life who assume shy, pretty people are snobs. And maybe somebody has made such an assumption about me- I am shy, and know there are at least a couple people out there who consider me pretty. If they have made those assumptions, I never noticed. That makes one possible benefit of being completely oblivious. But my point is, I don't think I'm a snob. And a lot of these shy, pretty people have turned out to be perfectly nice.

So, back to the pound of virtues. I understand the point they were trying to make- everybody is special. Everybody has their own gifts and talents and weaknesses. Don't get down on yourself because you aren't as pretty as Janie or as athletic as Michael or as smart as Kate. And don't put yourself above Ricky and Megan, because they have their own things to offer.

But I do sort of worry that this approach to it could lead to someone thinking that just because somebody is visibly gifted in a few areas- the highly attractive athlete who sings in the choir and gets straight As in honors classes- they can't have the other, less visible attributes. And that is not at all true.

Yes, one video is not likely to cause somebody to think this if their other experiences teach otherwise. But if they see this video, and see enough popular, attractive kids be thoughtless jerks, maybe that would do it.

Writer's Block

I recently realized that I've stopped thinking in stories.

It used to be that if I had time to think, I was probably plotting out a story, developing characters, or building a world. I've been doing this for about as long as I can remember thought patterns. And some of these characters I knew as well as my real life friends.

But sometime in the past year or two, I stopped. I still remember the old plots, worlds, and characters, but there are no new ones, and nothing has been added to the old lately.

I don't know exactly when it happened. I think I might be able to undo it if I start setting aside some regular time for writing. Maybe I'd have to start with prompts from elsewhere. But I think I can regain at least some of my prior inspiration. And I probably will try sometime.

But I have to ask myself, if it took me so long to realize it was gone, then how much do I really need it back?

I Know My Father Lives

Music

I know my Father lives and loves me too.
The Spirit whispers this to me and tells me it is true,
And tells me it is true.

He sent me here to earth, by faith to live his plan.
The Spirit whispers this to me and tells me that I can,
And tells me that I can.

Reid N. Nibley

A couple years ago in Relief Society, the instructor had us go around the room and each choose a hymn that expressed our testimony. And I chose this one because it is the base of what I know. As I've mentioned before, I have wondered about a lot of things. But when I hit bottom, what keeps me going is knowing that He lives and loves me. And that I can always turn to Him, through scripture, prayer, fasting, and priesthood blessings, and he will reaffirm that He is, that I am loved, and that things will work out.

So, How's Life?

I don't like to lie.

When someone asks me how I'm doing, and I feel any degree of closeness to them, I generally try to give them a fairly honest answer. The problem with that is, if I'm not doing so well at the moment, they start asking about why.

And a lot of the time, I don't really want to tell them. If I say I'm doing really badly, it's not so bad. And if I don't want to talk about it I can just say so and be glad they cared enough to ask.

But sometimes they start asking about what's wrong when I give a fairly neutral answer. And over the past year or so, that has really bothered me. Sure, they are trying to be caring and all that. But what I get from that is the sense that life should be all sunshine and happiness. And that is not what life is at all. And while my mood and my view of life is largely up to me, sometimes tough stuff gets me down.

Most of the time when I get asked about why I say life is only okay instead of great, I will give one of two answers. Sometimes I say something about how life can't always be good. And sometimes I say that I'm saving the greats for really extraordinarily happy times, so I can have something left to express how well everything is going.

But there is one girl who has a way of somehow getting me to talk about the stuff that has me down. And I don't really like to talk to her. Because it seems like whenever I do, she manages to get me talking about, and thus thinking about, everything that is going wrong in my life. She even got me doing that at a party once, which really got me out of the party mood. And I know she's just trying to show she cares. But I think the best way for her to show she cares may just be to not talk about my life at all.

Teach Me To Walk In The Light

Music

Teach me to walk in the light of his love;
Teach me to pray to my Father above;
Teach me to know of the things that are right;
Teach me, teach me to walk in the light.

Come, little child, and together we'll learn
Of his commandments, that we may return
Home to his presence, to live in his sight--
Always, always to walk in the light.

Father in Heaven, we thank thee this day
For loving guidance to show us the way.
Grateful, we praise thee with songs of delight!
Gladly, gladly we'll walk in the light.

Clara W. McMaster

This was my first favorite hymn, and whenever I heard it, I felt as though it was played specially for me and my family. I think I felt that the message of this hymn applied very well to me as a child. It seemed to express exactly what I felt was my main duty at that point in my life- to learn what I needed to know and do to return home. And it has a very cheerful, optimistic, feel to it. As if the singing of it brought some of that light into my life.