A Sad Non-Cycle

I feel like I've been posting a lot of stuff about me, which is not necessarily what I want this blog to be about. I want to examine various subjects, not spend all my time focusing on me. But this is the first thing that I've had any desire to write about for a while.

I've noticed that I draw a lot of my energy and excitement from the people I am with. I am a people person. Yes, I am shy, but I am a people person all the same. I need a lot of human contact. And I have apparently been this way for my whole life- I seem to remember hearing that as soon as I was mobile, I would go to where the people were. And if you put me in a group of people, I rarely get very tired before everybody else has left.

That's all well and good. But I seem to need to feed off of other people's excitement to express any myself. If I walk into a room super excited about something and start to talk about it, I sometimes sound slightly bored about it, even though I'm not. It isn't until someone shows some interest that I really get into the telling of it. And if I try to put some excitement into my voice, it is forced and it sounds that way.

This can be a problem, considering that other people tend to like to listen better and get more involved when the speaker is excited. And since I start off sounding bored, I can't always get someone else to feed my energy so I can show my excitement. So we are both disappointed in the conversation. Which is a rather sad non-cycle to get into.