I have been scared to make telephone calls for a very long time. I'm not sure why- it wasn't a problem when I was really young. I called to get the homework assignment or to ask Daniel if he could come play with no trouble at all.
But by the time I was a teenager, I had a problem. If I had to make phone calls for any reason whatsoever, I practically needed someone there to hold my hand. It got better, so that in my late teen years I could call a friend to chat just with a couple opening lines and then go ahead and chat. But even in the past year, I could spend anywhere from a couple hours to a couple weeks just working up the guts to make a simple telephone call.
And the thing is, I actually sort of like talking on the phone. Well, better than texting, anyway. Because it takes so much longer to type it all out, and you can't express emotions as well, and you only have 160 characters. But if I have something to say, it usually takes a lot more than that. Yet I am more likely to text than call, because mentally and emotionally, it is easier for me.
There are exceptions. Once I've had several successful experiences with calling the same person, it's fine. So if I want to talk to Mom, I can call her. No problem.
But lately, I've called at least 3 or 4 people for the first time with no hesitation. I'm not sure why this came so suddenly, but I think I may be getting over this weird phone fear.
Now, if I can just get over my automatic reaction of hanging up when I hear an answering machine or voice mail, I'll be set. But that one may take a while. It has been there since my first phone call.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Old Institute Thoughts
Yesterday in institute, I was reminded of a couple thoughts expressed in previous institute classes that I have taken.
1. Fall 2006- The Savior's Enabling Power. It focused on the atonement and genealogy. And, yes, the way the class was taught the combination worked perfectly. And the thought was something along the lines that even though we can use the atonement to repent of our mistakes, we can go further if we take it into our lives now, since we can keep going forward from where we are now instead of spending time falling backward, then using the time and energy to catch up to where we were and then moving forward again. A quote that I have since come across says, "Men do not suddenly become righteous any more than a tiny acorn suddenly becomes an oak. Advancement to perfection can nevertheless be rapid if one resolutely strides toward the goal." (Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness)
2. Fall 2008- Doctrines of the Gospel. I can't find the quote used in class to illustrate this point, but the idea was brought forth that Christ is both our judge and defense attorney. And isn't it comforting to think that the judge is personally invested in us winning our case?
1. Fall 2006- The Savior's Enabling Power. It focused on the atonement and genealogy. And, yes, the way the class was taught the combination worked perfectly. And the thought was something along the lines that even though we can use the atonement to repent of our mistakes, we can go further if we take it into our lives now, since we can keep going forward from where we are now instead of spending time falling backward, then using the time and energy to catch up to where we were and then moving forward again. A quote that I have since come across says, "Men do not suddenly become righteous any more than a tiny acorn suddenly becomes an oak. Advancement to perfection can nevertheless be rapid if one resolutely strides toward the goal." (Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness)
2. Fall 2008- Doctrines of the Gospel. I can't find the quote used in class to illustrate this point, but the idea was brought forth that Christ is both our judge and defense attorney. And isn't it comforting to think that the judge is personally invested in us winning our case?
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Something About Human Relationships
Sometimes having to tell somebody what you want them to do cheapens the effect when they actually do it. I was thinking about this, and trying to work out how to explain why it is, when I remembered that it is not just a human thing:
For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; (Doctrine and Covenants 58:26-27)
But we are given commandments- told certain things that we should be doing. And we should remember that for human relationships. Yes, it's nice when people do considerate things for you on their own. But you should also be willing to tell what you want sometimes.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Spam Names
I've read people on message boards talking about the weird names used for the people who their spam is supposedly from, but I never really paid attention to mine until today.
Most of my spam does not have a person's name in the from field- I get a lot of companies and descriptions, maybe some web addresses. But in what I did get, I noticed an odd pattern. Almost half of them have girl names for last names. These names: Connie, Rona, Nell, Lauralee, Albertha, Paula, Celeste, Theda, Carole, Kathryn, Tiffani, Liza, Catarina, Carolann, and Ciera.
There were also a couple humorous name combinations: Virginia Mann and Irish Catarina.
Although I suppose Irish Catarina could be some sort of company name. Or Virginia Mann, for that matter, but I'd expect it to be Virginia Man then.
Most of my spam does not have a person's name in the from field- I get a lot of companies and descriptions, maybe some web addresses. But in what I did get, I noticed an odd pattern. Almost half of them have girl names for last names. These names: Connie, Rona, Nell, Lauralee, Albertha, Paula, Celeste, Theda, Carole, Kathryn, Tiffani, Liza, Catarina, Carolann, and Ciera.
There were also a couple humorous name combinations: Virginia Mann and Irish Catarina.
Although I suppose Irish Catarina could be some sort of company name. Or Virginia Mann, for that matter, but I'd expect it to be Virginia Man then.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Soul Mates
I have been thinking about soul mates off and on for several months now, and I'm not sure what to think.
Believing in them is not really the cool thing to do. Now, I try not to let how cool an idea is influence me too much as to whether I agree with it. But the idea that there is one right person for everybody and that if you miss them, you're sunk just does not ring true to me. Because someone is sure to make a mistake and end up throwing things off for who knows how many other people.
John Bytheway wrote a book about dating and looking for an eternal companion. And one of the things he said was that sometimes you pray about someone and get a go-ahead answer, but then you mess things up and have to move on. Part of me understands and agrees with this, that people and situations change. But another part of me goes along with something I heard elsewhere, that if something was right before, it's not going to just change. And I believe that no relationship is so far gone that it can't be fixed if you put enough effort into it. Some relationships might not be worth that effort. But if it was a worthwhile relationship before and neither of you have gone off the deep end, I can't see it being anything but worthwhile now. Of course, there is always the possibility that you were told to go for it to teach you something, or because you had to go down that path to see for yourself that it wasn't right.
I mentioned the Spencer W. Kimball quote about how soul mates aren't real and almost any two righteous people can make a happy life together in an earlier post. But there definitely are some people that go better together than others. And if I would be better with Jake than with Jack, and better with Jerry than with Jake, and so on, how many people would be at the top? Could it be that Jordan is the person who I would fit best with, or is he tied with Justin, Josh, and Jed? If I messed things up with Jordan, I know I could find someone else to be happy with. And things will all work out in the eternities.
But off the top of my head, I can think of four different stories where someone was impressed that they would marry a certain person, then later did. One is a young couple in their twenties, one is in my parents' generation, one in my grandparents' generation, and one my great-grandparents. All have been happy so far. And if they got these impressions, then that suggests to me that maybe in some cases, there is a specific person you should be with.
Believing in them is not really the cool thing to do. Now, I try not to let how cool an idea is influence me too much as to whether I agree with it. But the idea that there is one right person for everybody and that if you miss them, you're sunk just does not ring true to me. Because someone is sure to make a mistake and end up throwing things off for who knows how many other people.
John Bytheway wrote a book about dating and looking for an eternal companion. And one of the things he said was that sometimes you pray about someone and get a go-ahead answer, but then you mess things up and have to move on. Part of me understands and agrees with this, that people and situations change. But another part of me goes along with something I heard elsewhere, that if something was right before, it's not going to just change. And I believe that no relationship is so far gone that it can't be fixed if you put enough effort into it. Some relationships might not be worth that effort. But if it was a worthwhile relationship before and neither of you have gone off the deep end, I can't see it being anything but worthwhile now. Of course, there is always the possibility that you were told to go for it to teach you something, or because you had to go down that path to see for yourself that it wasn't right.
I mentioned the Spencer W. Kimball quote about how soul mates aren't real and almost any two righteous people can make a happy life together in an earlier post. But there definitely are some people that go better together than others. And if I would be better with Jake than with Jack, and better with Jerry than with Jake, and so on, how many people would be at the top? Could it be that Jordan is the person who I would fit best with, or is he tied with Justin, Josh, and Jed? If I messed things up with Jordan, I know I could find someone else to be happy with. And things will all work out in the eternities.
But off the top of my head, I can think of four different stories where someone was impressed that they would marry a certain person, then later did. One is a young couple in their twenties, one is in my parents' generation, one in my grandparents' generation, and one my great-grandparents. All have been happy so far. And if they got these impressions, then that suggests to me that maybe in some cases, there is a specific person you should be with.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Keeping Holidays
As I've stated before, I really like Valentine's Day as a day to appreciate everybody you love- friends and family included. And I hate it when anybody calls it Singles Awareness Day.
Now, Singles Awareness Day is not the only complaint I've heard about the holiday. Like most other holidays, sometimes people complain about the commercialization. And I think some guys spend more than they really need to. The point is not the money- the point is to show that you care. And I'll leave it at that for now.
The other objection is that you should be aware of the people you care about always, and that it shouldn't take a special day to show that you care. And that is true. But the same can be said about Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving and pretty much every other holiday out there. Except Halloween, since it's pretty much meaningless these days to most people I know. And the way I look at it, human nature being what it is, we do tend to forget about these things without occasional reminders. Most of the time, we get some just living our lives. But I don't think it hurts anything to have a special day or season of reminder unless we start to think that we can only acknowledge love on Valentine's Day and our Veterans on Veterans' Day. And I always love an excuse to celebrate. So I say keep the holiday.
Now, Singles Awareness Day is not the only complaint I've heard about the holiday. Like most other holidays, sometimes people complain about the commercialization. And I think some guys spend more than they really need to. The point is not the money- the point is to show that you care. And I'll leave it at that for now.
The other objection is that you should be aware of the people you care about always, and that it shouldn't take a special day to show that you care. And that is true. But the same can be said about Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving and pretty much every other holiday out there. Except Halloween, since it's pretty much meaningless these days to most people I know. And the way I look at it, human nature being what it is, we do tend to forget about these things without occasional reminders. Most of the time, we get some just living our lives. But I don't think it hurts anything to have a special day or season of reminder unless we start to think that we can only acknowledge love on Valentine's Day and our Veterans on Veterans' Day. And I always love an excuse to celebrate. So I say keep the holiday.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Dating
I have no desire to date.
I know I should date. At least, that's what we've been told many times. Go look for an eternal companion. And do that by dating regularly. Don't just hang out. Make the boys take you on dates. Stop feeding them and being available to them for casual hanging out. And so on.
But really, I would much rather just hang out. It's more fun- at least, in my experience. Of course, this may be because of the high proportion of blind dates I've been on. When I was on those blind dates, I usually managed to have a good time. But it would have been just as fun, or maybe more fun, without him. Of course, when I was with a guy I knew and wanted to be with, who wanted to be with me, I did have a good time.
But in general, hanging out is more enjoyable for me. You get to know each other doing different activities and see each other interacting with other people. And dating piles on more expectation, which leads to more stress.
And with dating, I just don't see the point in going out just to go out. I used to like the idea of going on a date just for fun, but somehow, that is no longer appealing to me. I can have just as much or more fun with a large group of friends, and I can be gratified enough to know that they want to spend time with me.
I recently learned that there are girls around here, including at least one of my friends, who don't necessarily like the boys who are their boyfriends. They just go along with it. And I really don't understand that. It seems unfair to both of you. And I can't understand why they would want to be cuddling and kissing with someone they don't have strong feelings for. The very thought is repugnant to me. For me, the physical and the emotional and the relational are all very much connected.
But back to my original topic. If some boy asked me on a date, I would probably accept. After all, I am supposed to be dating. And I would go through all the motions of figuring out what to wear and how to do my hair and makeup and so on. But I would not be at all excited. And I would try to give him a chance, but I don't know how successful I would be. And with me going in with a poor attitude, chances are good that neither of us would have a great time, so nothing would come of it. And I could have spent that time in some other manner. Maybe productive, maybe not. But even just wandering around on the catwalks for a couple hours sounds more appealing. And it has been that way for several months now.
I know I should date. At least, that's what we've been told many times. Go look for an eternal companion. And do that by dating regularly. Don't just hang out. Make the boys take you on dates. Stop feeding them and being available to them for casual hanging out. And so on.
But really, I would much rather just hang out. It's more fun- at least, in my experience. Of course, this may be because of the high proportion of blind dates I've been on. When I was on those blind dates, I usually managed to have a good time. But it would have been just as fun, or maybe more fun, without him. Of course, when I was with a guy I knew and wanted to be with, who wanted to be with me, I did have a good time.
But in general, hanging out is more enjoyable for me. You get to know each other doing different activities and see each other interacting with other people. And dating piles on more expectation, which leads to more stress.
And with dating, I just don't see the point in going out just to go out. I used to like the idea of going on a date just for fun, but somehow, that is no longer appealing to me. I can have just as much or more fun with a large group of friends, and I can be gratified enough to know that they want to spend time with me.
I recently learned that there are girls around here, including at least one of my friends, who don't necessarily like the boys who are their boyfriends. They just go along with it. And I really don't understand that. It seems unfair to both of you. And I can't understand why they would want to be cuddling and kissing with someone they don't have strong feelings for. The very thought is repugnant to me. For me, the physical and the emotional and the relational are all very much connected.
But back to my original topic. If some boy asked me on a date, I would probably accept. After all, I am supposed to be dating. And I would go through all the motions of figuring out what to wear and how to do my hair and makeup and so on. But I would not be at all excited. And I would try to give him a chance, but I don't know how successful I would be. And with me going in with a poor attitude, chances are good that neither of us would have a great time, so nothing would come of it. And I could have spent that time in some other manner. Maybe productive, maybe not. But even just wandering around on the catwalks for a couple hours sounds more appealing. And it has been that way for several months now.
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